


You are not alone (or Skam season 5/6)

by shinystar66



Series: Forget my soul I'm coming back to yours [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Hurt Isak Valtersen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Insomnia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Sick Isak Valtersen, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinystar66/pseuds/shinystar66
Summary: 5 Friends who are there for Isak when he crumbles and one time he is able to return the favourOr alternatively, 5 times his friends show Isak the meaning of his own words and one time it is the other way around.





	1. Eva

**Author's Note:**

> Well here I go again. I started writing and now I can't stop.  
> I don't think I'll write an Even chapter as well because I already wrote a fanfic about Even comforting Isak so you can consider that one a bonus and part of this universe.  
> I hope you'll stick with me until the end  
> Without further ado, adios!  
> Edit: I changed the title from Du er ikke alene to You are not alone  
> You can find me on tumblr at shinystar66

**1.**

**March 1st, 2018**

Eva is strolling trough the neighbourhood. The flowers are in bloom and their faint smell is drifting through the air. As nice as the nature surrounding her is now that spring has finally come, the cold wind is still making Eva shiver, despite the many layers of clothing she is wearing. But she is used to it, she lives in Norway after all.

She can hear the distant cheering of children who are playing in the park, chasing each other and laughing loudly. She smiles. She was one of them a long time ago. Actually it wasn’t that long but after everything that has happened in the past few years it felt like an eternity.

She’s back with Jonas and has been since Sana’s Eid party. Things are going well between them now, maybe that break was a good thing after all, because she finally learned who she is, what she likes, what she wants, what her dreams, hopes and opinions are. It was like a self descovery, a rebirth and a breath of fresh air. She couldn’t have done that with Jonas by her side, because as she told him when they broke up, she came to the point where his opinion mattered more than her own and that wasn’t ok.

She also realised that she in not as straight as she thought. The kisses she shared with Ingrid before Nissen weren't just a joke to her. The feeling she had in her chest when looking at Noora in the first year wasn’t just admiration. The fact that she enjoyed kissing Vilde wasn’t just the effect of alchohol. Apparently Vilde didn’t feel like it was nothing either because she now has a girlfriend. She is happy for her friend, she is. When Vilde came out to her shaking and with tears in her eyes after breaking up with Magnus, Eva hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. Told her that she’s proud of her. When she met her girlfriend she also smiled. She is tall and dark haired and beautiful. She can tell that they really like each other. But she can’t help but wonder how things could worked out between them if she hadn’t got back with Jonas. _No don’t go there Eva you’re happy with him._

And she really is. Jonas supports her and isn’t bothered at all by the fact that she is bisexual. He is more mature now, maybe the fact that his best friend came out to him played a big part in his change of mindset because she remembers clearly how Elias, the asshole he was friends with in first year, made those dumb jokes about Isak and how Jonas didn’t try to defend him at all. She shakes her head at the memory as she takes a sip from her tea and continues walking. _Whatever, it’s in the past._ As a wise person once said "Life is now". Speaking of which…

 _Is that..It seems so._ Isak is there on a bench, crying, full on sobbing. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What do I do_

“Isak?”

Isak raises his head, eyes wide looking like a deer in headlights. Then recognition flickers in his gaze and he wipes his tears away as fast as he can using both his hands.

“Eva hi” he says voice choked sounding more like a sob

_Fuck_

“Are you ok?” She asks tentatively, sitting next to him on the bench. Funny because she is pretty sure this is the bench they were sitting on back in the first year when they had ‘the talk’ and also where she came out to him when she realised that she is bi. He laughed back then and said how he had read somewhere that when somebody comes out to their group of friends, in a few years it becomes clear that they weren’t the only non-straight person in the grop. Seems like gay people find each other unknowingly through the power of gaydar or something. She laughed too, back then, but now she isn’t laughing, because her friend is clearly upset judging by the way he was crying a few minutes ago.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine”, he says trying to force a smile but she can’t be fooled.

“No you’re not”

“No I’m not” he repeats sighing loudly and bringing his hands to his face. “I...uhhhh...had a fight with Even”

Well shit. She didn’t expect this. They were one of the healthiest and happiest couple she has ever seen. Always looking at each other as if they hung on the moon and she would have been grossed out by their sappines and the pda if she wasn’t happy for her friend. She remembers clearly how closed off he used to be and she can see how soft he becomes near Even. Jonas confirmed that they are both completely in love and how they can’t keep their hands of each other when he is at their place for a game of fifa.

“What happened?”

“Well, he’s been acting very strange lately. At first I was afraid he might be slipping but he’s not. The thing is, he’s never at home. In the morning he is at uni, after that he is at work. I think he is taking double shifts but I have no idea why. Then in the evenings, he’s either at his parents’ or with Mikael working on some project or simply hanging out with the boys. When he finally comes home he is too tired to do anything, he just goes to sleep. It’s like we never see each other anymore and we’re living togerher for god’s sake.

_Ok she can see his point_

"Well have you told him that?”

“I did.” He gulps. “I told him today but he didn’t take it very well. Said he is sorry but he is doing everything he can. You see, the thing is that I’m very stressed as well and I haven’t been sleeping well lately and I just snapped and..I accused him of cheating on me even though I don’t believe that” He seems on the verge of tears again.

“Shit Isak”

“Yeah he was extremly upset when I said that and like dissapointed with me and said that he can’t keep doing this if I don’t trust him”

_'This’ meaning their relationship? oh dear god no_

"And then we shouted some more things at each other that I can’t even remember and then finally I said 'maybe we’re better off' and stormed out and now I’m…well…here." Now he is crying again.

Eva is speechless. She has to think before coming up with any advice for him. In the meantime she just wraps her arms around him, hugs him as tight as she can and lets him cry on her shoulder. _Huh funny_ she has flashbacks from the first year again, only back then it was the other way around.

“You know what I think? That you need to talk, properly this time and without shouting at each other. You don’t believe what you said, right? That you’re better off?”

“No, of course no, I love him too much”

“Then go talk to him, I’m sure he has calmed down as well. Maybe he has a good reason for acting the way he does, you never know. And even if he doesn’t, Isak you have to get used to this if you want to be with him forever, think about it. You’ll get married and have jobs and maybe kids, I don’t know, and you’ll hardly see each other, that’s how relationships between adults work. You have to understand this. You just need to find a compromise. ”

He looks at her and then down at the ground

“And have you thought that maybe you’re not doing that good yourself? I mean you’re a third year, exams are coming and I know that you are a huge nerd, I bet you spend your whole day studying with Sana and I know that from her as well. You have to go to work as well. Then you go out with Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi and I know that because Jonas is my boyfriend and he tells me everything now. What I mean is, you don’t have much free time either. Maybe he is doing this to give you a taste of your own medicine.”

“You…you think so?”

“I don’t know but it’s a possibility. Just talk to him, I’m serious.”

“You think he’ll want to talk to me after everything I’ve said?” He says pulling out his phone

“Well there’s only one way to find that out, right?”

“But he hasn’t tried to contact me and I’ve been out for hou-Oh shit, my phone was switched off fuck fuck fuck, there are 16 missed calls and like 10 messages. ”

Eva laughs and glances down at the screen

_I’m sorry._

_Isak I’m sorry_

_Forgive me_

_Please come home_

_Baby_

_Let’s talk_

_Can you at least let me know that you’re ok_

_I’m getting really worried_

_Isak please answer_

_Are we over?_

And then the phone lights up again

Isak picks up this time “I’m sorry”

_“Thank god I was so worried. No baby, **I** am sorry, if you’re not coming home can you at least let me know you’re okay?”_

“No, I mean, I am coming, I am on my way.”

_“Ok I love you”_

“I love you too”

 _Damn_ Eva thought _Only these two could say that they love each other while fighting._

“Eva? Thank you, really, you’re a good person…and a great friend. I wish I had done the same for you back then” He smiles sadly

 _Ugh first year bullshit again_

“You are a great friend too and you are long forgiven, now go get your man”

They hug thightly and Isak almost runs.

_These two_

Eva lingers looking in the direction Isak went for a while. She hopes things will work out between the two of them. Right now she think it will be okay. She hopes so. She meant it when she said that she forgave Isak. She's done worse things to her friends _to Ingrid_ if she is being honest with herself 

*** 

Later when she gets home and meets Jonas, she finds out that Even was working long hours because he wanted to go on an expensive vacation with Isak in the summer, just the two of them, and he was saving money. He was also working on another short movie about them.

_Well_

_Faen_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think in the comments. Seems that I like making Isak suffer haha sorry  
> This is kind of my take on what would have happened if skam had more seasons. It's my headcanon that Vilde is a lesbian and Eva is bi. Even though I absolutely loved Isak and Even's story, I wish we had some wlw representation as well, but that's what fanfiction is for, right?
> 
> And before you throw things at me, Isak and Even will be absolutely fine! They just need to learn how to communicate properly. I see them having fights sometimes, like this one here, but not actually breaking up. The thought of them breaking up breaks my heart so keep calm, I wouldn't do that.


	2. Jonas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say this time. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I saw a lot of sickfics about Isak and Even taking care of each other, or even Vilde taking care of Isak, but not with Jonas so I wanted to give it a try.

**2.**

**April 1st, 2018**

Jonas is walking with hurried steps towards the "Evak residency" as Magnus called it the previous weekend when they were there for a pre-game, smoking and drinking. Things were pretty chill in Jonas' life. He got back with Eva, he and the boys are closer than ever and he can't wait to finish school because third year is pretty exhausting. He's not sure what he wants study at uni though. He's thinking about politics, he likes to think that he could make some changes in this capitalistic, full of shit word surrounding him. He sighs. 

Isak called him earlier and asked him to buy a cough syrup because he is sick and Even is away for the weekend. He also got a worried call from Even who demanded to be updated on Isak's state every few hours. _Jeez._ Even also told him that he is somewhere in Austria or something with his parents. They go to a foreign country every year for a weekend. Apperently it's a family tradition. Jonas doesn't know why Isak didn't join them, but he assumes it's because Isak cares too much about school and has to work on his assignments. Well he won't be able to get much work done if he is sick.

__

__

Just a few more minutes and he'll be there. He texts Eva. Things are good between them. He tried to be as supportive as possible when she came out to him. He doesn't mind it, some assholes may, but he's not one of them. He thinks the fact that straight is the norm is bullshit anyway. He can't stand the society standards. He thought about his sexuality for a while too, but came to the conclusion that he is 100% straight. The thing about Eva is that he saw the way she looked at Vilde sometimes, but decided to brush it off. They talked about it and agreed that if one of them fell for somebody else, they should tell the other to avoid the repeat of the whole fiasco from the first year. He doesn't think that Eva will cheat again, not after their agreement. Also, Vilde has a girlfriend now anyway. And...there's also the fact that Jonas has a 'Vilde' of his own. (but nobody needs to know about that because nothing will happen.)

And there he is in front of the building.

"Fy faen Isak, who catches a cold in fucking April?!"Jonas asks when entering the front door.

Isak looks…bad. He’s pale and there are dark purple bags under his eyes. His nose is red and probably stuffed judging by his ragged breath. There’s also a tint of red on his cheeks, his entire face is flushed actually. _It must be a sign of fever_ Jonas thinks.

“Halla to you too. Somebody who stayed in the rain for an hour looking for his keys two days ago” Isak manages to mumble but then starts coughing dryly and a horrible sound errupts from his throat.

_Shit.This in not good._

“You’re so stupid”

“I know”

“Well, did you find your keys in the end?”

“Well. We are sitting in my apartament, aren’t we?”

They both burst into laughter but then Isak coughs again and it’s an even worse sound than before.

_Fuck Fuck Fuck_

“Ok. No talking for you. I don’t want you to puke your lungs out. Even would kill me because I didn’t take care of you.”

“Even faen” Isak exclaimes completely ignoring Jonas’ advice. “He’s been callig me non-stop. I ruined the trip with his parents”

“You didn’t ruin anything Isak, it’s not your fault that you got sick, it’s not like you wanted this.”

“But like you said earlier, it happened because I’m stupid and lost my keys. Even feels guilty because he wasn’t home. He said that if he had been, he would have let me in and I wouldn’t have had this problem. But I told him to shut up and enjoy his trip ‘cause it’s not his fault”

“You told him good. But you know what? What happened, happened, who cares why? Right now we need to concentrate on you getting better, alright?” Isak nods weakly

"Look I brought Vitamin C, and this cough syrup and and this medicine for the fever. Do you want some tea? I’ll make you some, where do you put-“ He looks around for a kettle, a panicked expression on his face, Isak seems to have noticed that.

"Jonas chill.”

“Yeah yeah I know sorry”

His phone rings. _It must be Eva_ , he texted her earlier asking for advice on how to take care of Isak.

_Before you do anything, check for a fever. Then make him some tea or something. He’ll be fine. Kisses_

Jonas responds with a heart emoji

There are also texts from Mahdi and Magnus asking how Isak feels. Jonas ignores them.

“Alright. Do you have a thermometer? I should check if you have a fever first.”

“In the bathroom in the aid kit”

“Right” He says going into the bathroom. It doesn’t take him long to find it. He wants to go out, but something catches his eye. On the shelf he sees two bottles of pills. _Must be Even’s, poor him._ He doesn't mean to intrude like this, but curiosity gets the best of him and he takes a look at the labels. He finds out that the first bottle is for anxiety and the second one contains sleeping pills. 

_Does Even have sleeping problems and anxiety as well? Damn-Wait_ Even is away and he needs his meds daily, which means he should have taken them with him on the trip. So…these aren’t his and there's only one person who lives with him.

__

__

- _Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t he talk to me?_ He stares at them for a few minutes but then concludes _You weren’t supposed to see this, he’ll tell you when he’s ready._ He sighs and puts them away.

When he returns to the bedroom Isak is face-plantted on the bed.

“I got the thermometer, get up” Isak doesn’t stir.

“Isak!” He raises his voice. No response.

Now Jonas is starting to panic. He feels his heart in his throat.

_This is not good_

He kneels besides the bed and shakes him

“Isak Isak **Isak** ”

“Jeez I’m awake, stop” He finally mumbles, voice muffled on the pillow.

“Fucking hell Isak you scared the shit out of me” Jonas almost shouts, eyes wide.

“Sorry. I think I fell asleep”

Jonas sighs and places the thermometer in his mouth. “Ok Let’s see…38.5°C"

"It’s not that bad"

“It’s not that bad, he mimics. You always say this.You said that when we were 6 and you fell off the bike as well.”

“You remember that?”

“Of course I do, easily one of the scariest moments of my life”

“Really?”

“Really, what did you expect? I was 6 and my best friend fell into a fucking ditch. You broke your arm and had a concussion so”

“Everything is in a blur for me”

“Of course it is, you were concussed, I already said that”

“All I remember is that you were so calm and you knew exactly what to do. I was impressed.”

“Are you kidding me?! I was scared shitless. After I ran to my house and my mom called an ambulance I just started crying. Luckily mom calmed me down and assured me that you’ll be fine”

“Wow." Isak mutters. "You care”

“Of course I do. You’re my best friend. I love you”

“I love you too.” Isak smiles. "No homo though"

Jonas snorts and rolls his eyes

“Ok. Maybe a little homo”

They both laugh for a good few minutes until Isak breaks into coughing. Again. _Dammit._ “Ok take these. Now!” Jonas exclaims.

“Yes sir”

***

Later they are sitting side by side on the sofa, watching a shitty movie on tv, two cups of tea in their hands. Isak’s fever has came down after taking the ibuprofen and his cheeks aren’t that red anymore.

“You should go to sleep” Jonas says looking at his friend’s tired face

“Nei”

“What do you mean nei?”

“I mean” he gulps. “I don’t think I can. Last night I didn’t sleep at all”

“Oh” he says _the sleeping pills in the bathroom right._ “I..uhh saw the pills in the bathroom. I’m sorry I didn't mean to”

“It’s ok.” Isak sighs, "Sorry I didn’t tell you about them. Even persuaded me to go to a therapist last month after I haven’t slept for a week and she prescribed me those. I took them for a few days and after I felt better I stopped taking them"

“Those for anxiety as well?”

“Yeah”

“Why?”

“Why? Because. Because Even hates his meds. Says they make him feel detached from reality. My mom hated hers. She was even worse after taking them for a month. I just don’t want to” He snaps and looks on the verge of crying.

Jonas decides not to press any further becuase he doesn’t want to upset his friend, not in this state. They’ll talk about this later.

“Ok. But why don’t you try to take one for sleeping to get some rest?”

“Doesn’t work. I tried last night” He sighs, "I guess it’s because I simply got used to cuddling Even to sleep"

“Oh” then an idea forms in Jonas’ head. “Then move. I’ll cuddle you”

“Nei. You'll get sick too!”

“No. I won't. I have a strong immune system. Come on!”

“Uh uh nei”

“Why? Are you scared of spooning a hansome dude?”

“Jonas what the fuck?!”

They do end up cuddling on the bed, Jonas’ arms wrapped around Isak’s middle

“This is weird. You know, 15-year-old me would have been thrilled”

"What?!"

“Oh shit. Forget what I said”

“You had a crush on me?!”

“Noo stop!” Isak’s cheeks are red again and not because of the fever this time.

“I can’t believe this. Oh my god you had a crush on me!”

“Well. I am so happy with my boyfriend whom I love very very much and you have a girlfriend as well so...”

“But you **liked me"**

“You will never leave this down, will you?”

“Absolutely not. I need to boost my ego”

They both laugh but after a few minutes Isak’s breath starts to slow down and he finally falls asleep

 _Good_ Jonas thinks. He smiles, looking at his best friend’s peaceful expression. It's a little weird cuddling a boy. He is used to Eva’s curves and smooth forms. Isak is bone-y and has hard muscles, so not so comfortable, but he would do anything for him. He meant it when he said that he loves him. Well, it’s not in the same way Even does, but he still loves him in a very plation way. Society's views be damned. 

This boy has been through so much, he wishes he had done more for him. He wishes his friend had come to him and not lived in a fucking basement in a stranger's house. He wishes Isak hadn't been afraid of coming out to him, but now that he thinks about it, he remembers those stupid jokes he used to make in the first year _you only know gay songs_ He shakes his head. He already apologised for that and Isak said it's fine, that he forgave him. _I was so dumb._ It doesn't matter now. What matters is that now he is here for his friend and he will be for as long as he'll let him. _I'd kill for you_

The truth is that he knew about Isak's crush on him. He already confessed that to him when they were both drunk and high. Isak didn't remember it because he was shitfaced, whereas Jonas was somehow more sober. He also told him how he was the one to spread the rumour about Eva hooking up with P-Chris and how he did it because he wanted to break them up _"Smart snake"_ Jonas thought back then. He wasn't mad at him, no. Because Eva did cheat on him and the truth would have come out eventualy anyway. He forgave him in the next few finutes after another beer. And he doen't care at all now because he is back with Eva. 

He checks his phone to look at the time when he sees it: _11 missed calls from Even_

_Jeez...Why are these two always so dramatic_

He texts Even that Isak is asleep now and seems to be feeling better and he responds by saying that he is coming back the next day. 

It doesn’t take Jonas long to drop off as well after that.

***

That’s how Even finds them in the moring, tangled in each other, a mass of arms, legs and messy hair.

“Well won’t you look at that!”

“It’s not what it seems I swear!” Isak shouts shoving Jonas away, almost causing him to fall off the bed.

“You’re leaving me for your best friend Isak?!” Even mocks in an offended tone

Jonas would feel bad but he can see in Even’s eyes that there is no hint of jealousy.

"He drooled all over me so you can keep him." 

"I did not!" Isak exclaims offended. 

"He does!" Even chuckles. 

Jonas smiles and tunes out their little banter as he gets up to leave.

_My job here is done._

“Jonas? Did you realise that boys can be a choice as well?" Even teases

"Nei. I think I’ll stay with Eva”

***

2 days later Jonas gets the cold too, because why the fuck not. 

But when Isak and Even come over with meds and together with Eva make a pillow fort on Jonas' bedroom floor, getting ready to watch the second season of Stranger Things, Jonas thinks that it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Jonas and Isak's friendship is one of my favourites in the show, after best buds Isak and Sana of course and I wanted to explore it more.


	3. Sana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sana my love! I'm a little nervous about her chapter but I hope I did good.  
> This story took a life of its own. When I started writing it, I just thought about people comforting Isak but not it has a plot and I kind of turned it into a future skam sesaon. Maybe I should just write another story about a whole season hmm we'll see

**3.**

**April, 4th 2018 - Easter Break**

_"May you take care of Eva. And Vilde. And Noora. And Chris."  
"May you take care of Isak. And Even. And Elias. And Yousef-"_

Her phone lights up with a message. And then another one. And another one. Of course that she is interrupted. Can she ever pray in peace, without somebody or something always disturbing her???  
She sighs as she picks up the phone. 

There are texts from 2 chats: Isak and the girls. She opens the grop chat first.

 **Who run the world? Girls!**

_Vilde: Girls what are we going to do????? Our van is completely fucked and russebuss is around the corner!!!!!!!!_

__

_Noora: Funny how we've been planning this bus thing since first year and now that it's time we don't have a bus lol_

__

__

_Vilde: What's funny about that???? It's horrible, it's a nightmare!!!_

__

__

_Eva: Girls, calm down. We'll find something._

__

__

_Chris: Yeah, let's not lose hope, we still have like 20 days_

__

__

_Vilde: Not. Enough._

_Eva: Well maybe if you didn't spend your whole time with your little girlfriend we would have hung out more and maybe we would have found a bus until now._

_Vilde: Wow?? Rude?? And you're the one to talk? You stay with boyfriend 24/7!!_

_Chris: Guys?? Stop fighting pls. We'll figure something out._

_Noora: No boyfriend (or girlfriend in your case) no stress! Follow my example girls_

_Vilde: Sana?? Ideas??_

_Sana: Sorry. Busy studyig_

Vilde: Of course... 

 

Sana closes the chat and sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. Too much drama. She couldn't care less about the bus right now, not when the mock exam is in 5 days. Not when the actual exam is in 2 months. Not when she has so much to study if she wants to go to med school to become a surgeon. It's a lot of work but she is positive that she will get in. She just needs to focus. 

She is on a break with Youself and has been for a week now. She thinks that it is the right solution. He is still non-muslim and she has no idea how things will work out between the two of them. She tried to take Isak's advice and take everything minute by minute and not worry so much about the future, but she can't afford that right now. Education first, love life second. Maybe soon if things go well they'll be together again, she hopes. If he still wants her...

She takes a sip from her coffee, the second today and opens the chat with Isak.

**Best bud**

_Sanasol pls pls come over and help me study. I'm so behind. I've been sick and couldn't do anything during the weekend. Help meee_

Sana smiles. If somebody told her in the first year that she and Isak Valtersen would be friends, she would have laughed in their face. But spending time studying with him or simply hanging out, she realised that he is a pretty great friend. Kind of grumpy sometimes but also very smart. He actually helped her a lot at the beginning of the second year. He is really good at biology and science in general. The thing is that it seems like he really enjoys studying and she can't say that about a lot of students.

_Ok. I'll be there is 20_

_Isak responds with a meme that says: I owe you my life_

Sana laughs. _Dork._

She goes to the kitchen and is surprised to see that the boys are there. Actually she is not, these guys are over all the damn time, the fact that they go to uni together now only made them spend even more time together. She sees no Yousef (hasn't been over since their break) but Even is there instead. He is a nice addition to the group, she kind of misssed him, he has always been the only one nice enough to offer to help her mom in the kitchen and the only one to ask how Sana is doing too. 

They all greet her and she smiles back.

"Where are you going?" Elias asks frowning

She turns to Even: "To your place actually. I'll go study with Isak"

Even nods smiling: "Great, he's been really stressed lately,  maybe you'll be able to help him"

Elias looks between the two of them: "You know if I didn't know any better and if it weren't for Ev here I'd think that it is pretty suspicious that you two are spending  so much time together."

Sana rolls her eyes: "Yeah you know what? I've been secretly in love with him this whole time and planning to steal him away from Even but you got me. My cover's blown. Heh." She shrugs her shoulders.

Mikael chimes in after taking a bite from a carrot: "no offence but if that were the case Even would kill you with his bare hands and I'm not even kidding"

"No I wouldn't" Even replies offended

They start arguing as Sana leaves the house and closes the door behind her, rolling her eyes.

***

Isak opens the door and he looks...bad. Even wasn't kidding when he said that he is stressed. He looks as if hasn't slept for weeks, his hair is a disaster and there are dark bags under his eyes.

"Are you sure you had the flu and not the plague?" She jokes trying to lift the mood

Isak rolls his eyes. "Come on and sit down. I'll make some tea. And before you say anything I won't use tap water this time"

"You won't because I bought you that electric kettle as a present for Christmas"

"Well yeah, thank you for that. But I remembered how to boil water too. I know basic physics." He rolls his eyes.

"Proud of you Isabell"

She looks around the room, it's pretty messy. There are books and sheets of paper all over the table, the bed and the floor. And she thought she was the one who was fixated on studying.

Isak comes back and places the two cups on the table.

"How are things between you and Even?" She tries to make some conversation 

"Good. Good. We had a fight like a month ago, a pretty big one. I thought he was acting shady and I snapped and said some not so nice stuff but it turns out I was the one being a dick and he only wanted to surprise me with something so...But apart from that it's been fine. We both apologised and it's alright now" 

She nods "You need to calm your temper Isak, seiously. Remember that thing with Mikael? You punched him out of jealousy, really?" 

"I lied about that...It wasn't because of jealousy..." 

"Oh?" She frowns, she wasn't expecting this... they haven't brought up the incident ever since. "Then why did you do it?" 

"He kept trying to reach Even, to persuade him to talk even though Even seemed more and more scared and panicked with each passing second. You haven't seen the look on his face Sana. I just wanted to protect him and I didn't know shit about what had happened between them back then" 

Sana is speechless. Isak managed to change her expectations about him once again 

"You're a good person Isak" she says reaclling a similar conversation they had a while ago. 

Isak smiles and they exchange a knowing look: "Well, let's get started" 

***  
Two hours have passed and they've been through three chapters and quizzed each other when Isak starts to get restless and rocks his body back and forth.

"Isak? she looks worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

But he's not speaking. In turn he starts hyperventilating and pulling at his hair: "I can't do it Sana. I can't. I'll fail this mock exam and then the actual exam and I won't get into med school and I won't have money and and..." He rambles and seems to be getting less and less air with each word.

 _Fuck. It's a panic attack._ She used to get them too. Luckily she knows what to do. 

"Isak, Isak you need to breathe come on" she moves as to be closer to him. "Deep breaths, come on you can do it." She takes his hand: "Inhale for a count of four, hold for a second, and then exhale for a count of four again. We'll do it together" After a few minutes he manages to control his breathing and doesn't look as if he was drowning anymore.

"Thank you" he whispers breathlessly

"No problem."

***

"Do you get panic attacks often?" 

"Sometimes, yeah." He says, looking everywhere but in her eyes. 

"Did you know I used to get them too?" Isak shakes his head 'no'. 

"Yes. I did. Before Nissen. You see I used to be bullied a lot back then and sometimes I would get really scared of my classmates and what they may say next about me. Elias would calm me down and do what I did for you" 

Isak looks at her for a few moments and replies: "Sana...can I be sorry for calling you a bitch last year? and for whatever stupid shit I also said that day." 

_Huh yeah the bench talk_ , she almost forgot about that 

"I am. Sorry. I didn't realise how much shit you recieve and how strong you are. Actually I realised that when a homophobe called me and Even slurs while we were kissing on the street like a month after our talk. Anyway that feeling was horrible and it happened a few more times after that too. I understand that you go through something similar on a daily basis" 

"I guess I am sorry too then. I know I said that people can't look at you and tell that you're different but I didn't think about you two kissing. I'm sorry you went through that. Some people are assholes" 

"It's fine" 

*** 

"You know what helps me? Praying. When I pray it's like nothing arounds me matters anymore, it's all clear and it helps me focus. I don't know if that would help you but-" 

Isak stops her:"I get that. You know I used to pray too? My mom is very religious. I used to go to church every Sunday. But I lost my faith now so it wouldn't work for me anymore, I think it would only give me more anxiety." 

Sana would like to argue but she can see his point, she had lot of similar conversations with Yousef already. It seems clear that they would both like to discuss the matter in more detail, but neither of them dares to say anything else. They finish drinking the tea when Sana finally speaks up: 

"How about I call Even and tell him to come home?"

"No! Please don't! he raises his voice, eyes wide." He'll be even more worried than he already is. And he'll be pissed because I didn't take my meds."

"Meds?"

He sighs. "Come on, let's sit on the sofa. I'll tell you"

***

"So let me see if I get this straight. You have troubles sleeping sometimes. You went to a therapist. She told you that you have generalized anxiety disorder, prescribed you some meds and you refuse to take them."

"Yes"

"Well in this case you are stupid"

"The thing is that I'm perfectly fine most of the time. It gets bad only when I'm stressed about school or my parents or something"

"Isak, the treatment won't have any effect if you keep interrupting it, you should know this as a future doctor."

**"If** I manage to become a doctor. I'm not sure I will." He mumbles and looks at the ground 

"No. Listen to me. Now!" She raises her voice and he lifts his head to look her in the eyes. "You're one of the smartest people I know. And I don't give you enough credit but yoh helped me a lot last year. You are great at biology and I'm sure that you will be able to become a doctor. We both will. _she hopes _if you give up now what are you going to to in uni when we'll have tons on books to learn. I don't know about you but I want my biology partner in uni too"__

__He looks at her dumbdounded then the corners of his mouth lift a little in a weak smile. "Thanks Sana."_ _

__"Stop thanking me so much." They remain in silence for a few moments until Sana adds: "You know what? let's do something else. I'm tired. I've been studying non-stop for the past week. You too. I think we both deserve a break, a long one "_ _

__"Do you by any chance know how to play fifa? "__

__***_ _

__It's getting dark outside when Even comes home and finds the two of them on the sofa eating chips and swearing at the screen__

__"Halla!" Even greets smiling._ _

__"Oh good you're home!" Sana exclaims as she drops the console and looks at the clock. "Fy-" she stops "It's so late already. Elias will give me so much shit for coming home late. I have to go" She packs her books and hurries to the door as Even and Isak laugh. _Assholes_ _ _

____"Don't worry! I assured him that you and Isak aren't secretly having an affair. Though he didn't seem convinced." Even shouts after her._ _ _ _

__

__

__She doesn't even respond as she rushes downstairs and out of the building. On her way home, when the cool air of the night hits her face she smirks. She hopes Isak will feel better. And if there's something she learned today is that she needs to chill every once in a while because her mental state and happiness are just as important as her education, maybe even more. She glances down at her phone, looks for Yousef's number and calls._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you can see this is me fixing things I didn't like about the show. Season 4 was a mess. Can you tell that I hate the bench talk between Isak and Sana and the fight? Punching Mikael out of jealousy? Doesn't suit Isak's character. If he were the jealous type he would have killed Sonja lol.  
> Also can you tell I dislike Willhelm? So no Willhelm in this story, in this universe they broke up so Noora is single here. Don't worry I have plans for her!  
> Now the thing is, in the first season I really saw Noora as a a lesbian but after that, I couldn't see her as anything but a straight girl anymore so she is straight here. But Vide and Eva are not, as you already know.
> 
> I really want to hear your opinions to see if I should continue this or not.


	4. Noora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! This chaptet is somehow shorter but I hope you will still enjoy it. This is a friendship that had so much potential and we were robbed.

**4.**

**April 9, 2018**

_*Playing Dua Lipa - New Rules*_

Noora is applying her 'signature look' red lipstick looking into the bathroom mirror. She takes out a tissue from the dispenser and makes sure to remove the smudged parts. She looks paler than usual and there are dark circles under her eyes which look tired, but at least are not puffy and red from tears anymore. She fixes her eyeliner, takes one last look at herself sighing loudly and then leaves the bathroom to go to class.

Her life has been messy lately, with the break up with William and him trying repeatedly to get back with her despite her warnings to stay away. Eskild made her listen to Dua Lipa's songs and she knows the words from New Rules and IDGAF by heart now. She repeats them in her head like a mantra sometimes, when she feels like he misses him or when there's a missed call from him on her phone. She made up her mind, they are not getting back together and slowly but surely she is getting over him. 

Everybody was very happy when she announced that she broke up with him _which wow thanks friends._ Eskild even cried tears of happiness and was already planning to take her to clubs and bars to find somebody new. But she doesn't want a random hook-up, that's the last thing she needs right now. There's also the fact that she kind of has feelings for- She shakes her head. _No! Noora no!_

She is walking through the school corridor and stops at her locker to take out her books when she sees Isak walking by. The circles under his eyes are darker and his face is much paler than hers. He  looks as if he might collapse any minute. Suddenly she remebers what Sana said about his anxiety and the quick exchange she witnessed in the cafeteria when Jonas asked Isak if he had eaten anything  and he just shrugged. She also remembers how he snapped at something Magnus said and stormed off the cafeteria. Oh she knows this feeling all to well. 

"Isak!" she speaks before thinking. She doesn't even know what she wants to say but she knows she has to do something. 

He startles a little but then looks at her with a confused frown on his face "Noora hi"

"Eh...um...Eskild asked if you could come over after school."

"Oh! I'm not sure if I can uhh I'll text him later-"

"No! _If he texts him she'ĺl be caught in the act of lying._ "I mean it's pretty urgent. He really needs you for something.  Uhhh...A grindr hook-up broke his heart or something. I don't think he has the energy to respond to texts right now anyway."

He looks at her skeptically but then shrugs "okay"

She smiles "Alright then. Come by at about 16:30?"

"Okay. Cool" he replies and then leaves.

She sighs. _What is she trying to do? She doesn't even know._

***  
The rest of the day passes in a blur. She took the mock exam and she did well, at least she hopes so, she studied the whole Easter break to distract herself from doing other things she might regret later-like answering her ex's calls. She barely registers Vilde freaking out about them not having a bus when russebus time starts in 16 days and the girls coming up with suggestions, but she tunes out the conversation thinking about what to do with Isak later.  

"How's Amira doing?" Eva asks out of the blue drawing Noora's attention

"She's fine" Vilde answers frowning a little. "She took me on a date last night actually" she continues and her face softens slowly as she goes on describing their date and how good the ice cream was.

If Vilde used to brag about sex with her and Magnus and describe everything in too much detail for everybody's liking, now she can't even talk about kissing her girlfriend without blushing furiously. It seems like she did all that to prove everyone how 'straight' she is and Noora's heart breaks at the thought of her friend repressing her feelings like that. 

The only time she talked about sex with Amira she just said _"Lesbian sex, 10/10 would recommend"_ and started laughing histerically. _"Seriously girls try it if you have the opportunity. It's the best!"_ Noora chuckes at the memory. She is happy for her friend, but the weird sexual tension or whatever it is that is going on between her and Eva, that everybody likes to ignore is simply too much. _I wonder how their respective significant others feel about that._ Noora can only hope that the two of them will get their shit together eventually.

__

__

She says goodbye to the girls and takes the tram back to the kollektivet.

***

She throws her keys onto the counter and goes to the kitchen to chop some vegetables and cook something. 30 minutes later Isak is there. He still has his key to the apartment because Eskild refused to take it back and told him that he is welcome here anytime

"Hi! Where's Eskild?" Isak asks when entering the kitchen. 

_Fuck what do I say_

"Oh, he's still at work, they held him a little longer than usual but he should be here soon". Noora says and breaks into a cough "Why don't you take a sit? I made some delicious tortilla. I know you love it" 

Isak looks like a deer in headlights "No thanks, I already ate so..." 

Noora knows immediately that it was a big lie

"Oh so you're saying you don't like my cooking? Am I that bad?" 

"No no you know that's not the case! I liked everything you made when I lived here" he smiles weakly "I'm just...not hungry"

 _This worked for Vilde and herself so she might as well try_

"Well Isak. You see, what's so good about tortilla, it's that it's made from potatoes. And your body needs potatoes. Because potatoes have a lot of starch which give you energy. And you need it for your exams. And vitamin c which is an antioxidant. Antioxidants help you so you don't get old skin. You need nice smooth skin if you want Even not to leave you, don't you?" 

Isak looks at her with his mouth open and eyes wide, but then he nods as he takes a bite and the corners of his mouth lift a little.

They eat in silence when Isak speaks up "How did you know-?" 

Noora stops him. "I've been through this. I know what it's like." She licks her lips _how do I say this_

"Listen Isak I know we've never been close, not even when we lived together, but you should now that I'm here if you ever want to talk. I can see that you are struggling and if you don't want to talk about it with me, go to your boyfriend or Jonas, I don't know. But whatever you do, don't isolate yourself because, trust me, I've been there and it's not nice. People need people." 

"People need people" Isak repeats as if to memorise the words. 

"I think you and I have more in common than we have originally thought."

Isak smiles. "That's true" but then he looks down "I just don't want to burden Even with my problems because he has enough of his own and he already worries too much about me, I don't want to stress him into an episode or something " 

"Isak that's stupid. You don't want him to get worried but you worry him even more by not talking and keeping everything bottled up because that only makes you feel worse, can't you see?" 

He sighs "Yeah I guess you're right" 

"If you still don't want to tell Even my offer still stands. I am here. Look, it's even better, a stranger can give you a perspective from the outside, well I'm not exactly a stranger. Let's say an acquaintance. And you don't have to worry about my feelings because we are not close.

Isak sighs. "Well firstly, I've been very stressed about the mock exam and I haven't really slept." 

He goes on telling her about the anxiety and panic attacks and how Sana helped him. Noora listens to him carefully and encourages him to keep going. 

"But I'm done with the exam now and I hope I'll at least get a 5. The problem that I have now is my dad. He texted me during lunch and told me that he won't be able to pay for my rent for a while and I felt so angry I wanted to smash my phone on the ground. I'm too busy with school to work now, I already cut a lot of hours at the shop I work at, and Even has uni and works long hours already. I have no idea how we'll manage to pay for everything next month." 

"Your dad is an asshole" 

Isak groans "He is. I hate him so much!" He then tells her about how he left him and his mentally ill mom when he was only 16 and how that's the reason he ended up living at the kollektivet. 

"Shit Isak. I didn't know" 

"It's fine now" he sighs 

"Maybe you could ask Even's parents for help?"Noora suggests. 

"Yeah that's probably what we will do. But I feel bad about asking them for money because they have already done so much for us." 

"Well, maybe. But it's okay to ask for help sometimes and that's what parents are for. Just because people like you and I have shitty parents, it doesn't mean that they are all the same, some are willing to do anything for their children"

"What about your parents?" Isak asks confused 

_Oh right he doesn't know. I guess trust goes both ways_

"You see, my parents never loved me. I grew up in Mjøndalen. My father is a psychologist and my mother a sexologist. When I was 15 I fled to Madrid because my parents didn't care about me, they only cared about themselves and their sex lives." 

"Shit Noora. I didn't know" 

"It's fine now" she says, repeating his earlier words. 

Conversation flies easily from there on and they talk about everything and nothing at the same time. They really do have a lot in common, apart from their mommy and daddy issues too. 

"It's good that you broke up with William though. That asshole didn't deserve you. 

"You know what? You're right." 

*** 

"But you didn't tell me about your eating problems." Noora says suddenly, remembering the reason why she brought him here in the first place. 

"Oh that, that is not too bad. I was just feeling too stressed to eat anything. It happens sometimes when I don't sleep and exhaustion kicks in, it's all too much and I feel nauseous and way too anxious to put anything in my mouth" 

"That's exactly how I felt two years ago when the whole Nikolai thing happened." 

"Who's Nikolai?" Isak asks confused again. 

"Oh right" She tells him about him and everything and how dark those times were for her until she got help from her friends. How anxiety got the best of her as well.

***

They talk and talk until it's dark outside and Eskild bursts into the room greeting them loudly 

"Eskild!" They say at the same time exasperation and indignation in their voies 

"What is going on? Both my children at home talking to each other? I'm such a proud dad I couldn't be happier." Eskild says putting a hand on his heart. 

Isak smirks and seems to have remembered something. _Oh no_

"Eskild? Noora told me that you are heartbroken because of a grindr date that went wrong." 

"What?!" Eskild frowns confused but a little amused. 

Noora's cheeks turn pink "Yeah I lied about that." 

*** 

"I should probably get going. Even must be waiting for me. I have to talk to him about something anyway." Isak says as he goes into the hall to put on his jacket. 

Noora smiles."Okay. And promise me you'll think about taking those pills" 

Isak nods. "I will. Thank you for everything Noora, really. You're a good person". 

"No problem!" She bites her lower lip because she really needs to talk about this as it has been eating her alive and she needs to say it or she'll feel like exploding. "Before you go. Isak can I tell you a secret? But you can't tell anyone, please, it's important!" 

"Noora we've told each other so many things tonight already. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad." 

And he is right. They have a weird relationship right now. Isak went from being a kid in her year to Eva's friend who might be gay to her flatmate to a simple acquaintance and now a friend, the last two in the course of a single night. But she, for whatever reason, feels like she can trust him. She understood tonight that they have both been through a lot of shit and that they are both pretty strong because they didn't give up. 

"Promise!" She repeats looking him straight in the eye. 

"Ok. Ok. I promise. Now spill it!" 

"I think I like Jonas. And I think he likes me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun you were not expecting that, were you? Next is Vilde and I am really excited about her chapter.


	5. Vilde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aah the Vilde chapter. Aka true wlw/mlm solidarity. My favourite one. But also the angstiest one so keep that in mind while reading. I went more into Vilde's backstory in another fic. It's called "Girls like girls" so check that one out if you want to find out more about her.

**5.**

**April, 17th, 2018**

_*Playing “Girls like girls"-Hayley Kiyoko*_

Vilde is cycling around the city, headphones in her ears blasting Hayley’s song. She is humming along the lyrics while allowing herself to observe her surroundings.

She never realised how beautiful Oslo can be, especially now that spring has come. There’s something about the mix between city and nature, between the grey of the tall skyscrapers and the blue of the crystal clear fyord. The stark contrast between the two worlds, combined with the emerald-green of leaves and grass and the colorful flowers that are in bloom makes the view simply breathtaking.

She lost track of time admiring the landscape when she looked at her watch. She realised then where she is supposed to be going. _Right._ Her girlfriend’s house. _Girlfriend._ Even after two months of dating the word still sounds funny on her tongue and to her ears. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that she would have a girlfriend and yet there she is.

She smiles thinking about how quickly everything happened. How she broke up with Magnus, pretented to still be dating him for a while, came out to Eva ( _and got her heart broken when she kissed Jonas in front of her because she had been in love with her for so long_ ) and got shitfaced in a gay club, all in the span of two months. How Isak found her and how they became close friends after that. How she finally came out to the girls who didn’t even blink at her confession. She couldn’t be more grateful for them.

Third year began and in october and she finally had the courage to go to a lesbian bar recommended by a friend of Eskild’s. That’s where she met Amira. A tall twenty-year-old woman with thick dark hair and chocolate brown eyes. She came to her and offered to pay for her drink. Vilde couldn’t do anything apart from staring at her and blushing.

The woman- Amira as she would found out later-laughed revealing her pearl-white perfect teeth and told her that she was cute. Vilde’s cheeks only turned redder. They danced the whole night and Amira took her home and kissed her in front of her apartment’s door. It was a toe-curling kiss, and it left Vilde breathless. She never shared a kiss like that with Magnus, not even with Eva because those with Eva only tasted like vodka and god knows what other hard liquor she had in her system.

They’ve been dating for-Vilde lifts her fingers to count-7 months now. And thing were going well between them. Amira treated her with respect and kindness, kissed her, held her hand, made love to her and Vilde was in love. It was all good until Eva started acting weird around, throwing her lingering looks that Vilde didn’t know what to make of. She started asking intrusive questions about their relationship and making a grimace every time Vilde mentioned Amira's name. She was acting almost as if she was _jealous. And how dare she. How dare she act like that when Vilde has finally found happiness._

Vilde sighs in frustration at the thought and cycles further when she sees it. There’s a fight happening two blocks from there and she shouldn’t get so close but curiosity gets the best of her. She is trying to see if she can recognise somebody when she sees him. Isak is there throwing punches to a guy and there are other two guys trying to pull them away.

Isak falls suddenly, and his head would have collided with the pavement if it weren’t for the man holding him. The three men are looking at each other for a split of second and then they start running away. The guy who was holding Isak lets him go, but at least he is somewhow closer to the ground when it happens and the impact is not that bad. After he falls, Isak just lies there unconscious. _Holy shit._

“ **Isak!** she shouts as she drops her bike and rushes over to him. He is sitting on the pavement bleeding and unmoving and Vilde is freaking out. _Oh my god oh my god-_

"Isak?” She says patting his clammy cold cheeks. “Hey can you hear me?” _What if he is dead oh my god. He can’t be dead, not after they’ve become friends and he rescued her from that bar and helped her so much with coming to terms with her sexuality and with her mom, not when he is not even 19, not when he hays a boyfriend waiting for him at home and a whole life ahead of him-_

Her train of thoughts is interrupted by Isak who moves in her arms and starts choking and spluttering blood. His node is bleeding so much, he has a black eye and a split lip.

"Thank god I thought you were dead!" Vilde shouts with wide eyes, and extreme concern in her voice.

“It takes more than a few punches to kill me” he mumbles and then opens his eyes : "Vilde? What are you doing here?" He asks confused as he lifts his hand to his face and then looks at it to inspect the damage probably: “Helvete. I think this time my nose really is broken. Hurts so bad" 

Suddenly Vilde realises how useless she is just sitting there and doing nothing: “Hold on I’ll call an ambulance”

"No.Fuck.I’m fine"

"I don’t think so Isak." She doesn’t even want to listen to whatever he might say as she pulls out her phone and dials 113.

"Ok but please don’t call Even!"

Vilde frowns: “Okay. Whatever.”

After she makes the phone call- there are 3 missed calles from Amira and a lot of unread texts in the groupchat but they can all wait right now- and as they are waiting for the ambulence, Vilde asks:

"What happened Isak? Why were you in a fight?“

He sighs. "He is a homophobic asshole who started calling me slurs, probably saw me kissing Even or something and recognised me. I just snapped and threw a punch in his face and then well..that happened. And then those 2 others guys came, they were his friends I think, but they only tried to separate us."

"Oh my god Isak. You can’t do things like that! What if if he had done more damage?? What if those other two men hit you as well?! What if you were worse than just hurt?! What if I hadn’t found you now?! Would you have stayed on the pavement bleeding for hours until somebody else found you?!”

“Vilde chill I’m going to be fine."

She can already hear the sirens of the ambulance

"Promise me right now that you will never get into a fight with a homophobe again! And that if one hits you first, you will call for help. That is a fight not worth fighting for not when your life is on the line."

She looks into his eyes a serious expression on her face.

"Okay I promise."

"Good" she sighs as the paramedics approach them.

***

She lies to the doctors and tells them that she is her sister so that they let her come with him to the hospital. She is waiting impatiently in the hospital waiting room when she looks at her phone. She texts Amira and explains what has happened, her girlfriend knows Isak-they met a few times-at witch she responds with: _That's terrible. I hope he'll feel better soon. Stay safe Vilde! Call me later. Kisses._ Vilde smiles. Her girlfriend is so nice and understanding. Then she opens the groupchat and scrolls through the texts she sees it is all about russebus. _Oh right. That is a thing._ She has almost forgotten. 

And for the first and only time, she doesn't care about it. Not after what has happened today. She can not be a russ at all and she wouldn't mind. There are bigger problems in this world. Suddenly she is scared and feels unsafe, remembering why she stayed in the closet for that long. Sure it was Isak who hit first, but what if there are homophobes out there who hit first. What if. She can't help but wonder what she would have felt like if it was E̶v̶a̶ Amira the one hurt. And then she remembers. _Even._ Sure she promised Isak he won't tell him but he deserves to know. And he'll find out eventually anyway when Isak comes home looking...like that. So he calls him. 

Even comes to the hospital, barging through the doors not even 5 minutes after Vilde’s call, looking breathless as if he had run a marathon.

"Calm down" Vilde says coming closer to him. "He’ll be fine." she continues as she makes him sit on a chair, but Even is trembling and looks on the verge of crying. Vilde is explaining in more detail what has happened when Isak comes out a door with an ice pack pressed to his eye and stiches on his forhead and lip.

Even stands up immediately and rushes over to him. "Oh my god Isak. What were you even thinking?! You can’t do something like that! I can’t ... I can’t lose you!" he says between sobs, choking with each word and now tears are streaming down his face as he goes to hug him tightly. "Please, don’t ever do that again. **Please.** "

"I’m fine. Even look at me. I'm fine. It's okay. Just a broken nose and a black eye. Nothing I haven’t had before right? The concussion is a bonus though... And the split lip...and some other bruises on my body."

He gulps and Vilde can tell that he is still in pain even though he is trying to play it cool.

"You are hurt in more places than just your face?!" Even exclaims, eyes wide. 

***

She spends the night at their apartment because of course she does. Even needs help waking Isak up every few hours because of his concussion. That's what the doctors said. It's morning when Even gets up and says that he is going to make them something to eat. Vilde can only nod. She is so tired and doesn't think she has slept more tham 3 hours. Isak stirs next to her. 

"Hey" she says, hands stroking his hair. "How are you feeling?" 

"Sore." he replies. "Sore all over" 

She doesn't know what to say so she only nods. "Reminds me of the night you rescued me from that bar." 

He laughs. "Good thing in your case it was just the hangover killing your head and not a fucking concussion." 

They laugh

But then Vide's smile falls. "For real Isak, don't try something like that again. It could have been worse. What if you died?! How do you think Even would have felt then, hm? Or your friends, or even your parents...or me?"

"I'm sorry for scaring you. And thank you really. Maybe I would have been in a worse state if you hadn't found me immediately. You kind of saved my life." 

"No, I didn't." 

"Yeah, you did." he repeats as he looks her straight in the idea. "You are my hero Vilde." 

Vilde blushes _hero_ she doesn't know if it is his concussion speaking, but she likes this Isak, sincere and nice.

"Vilde?" he says then. "Can you text Magnus and tell him what happened? I think that fucker broke my phone and I probably have a lot of texts from the guys that I haven't responded to." 

"Of course." She says. She also texts the girls because she knows he and Sana and Eva are close and that they would like to know. Both the guys and the girls are freaking out and demand to know when they can come and see him.Vilde shows him the conversations and Isak laughs "Drama queens. They act as if I am close to dying". 

"Nei Isak. She says. "We all worry about you because we care about you. You are our friend and we love you". 

Isak only stares at her and then breaks into a smile, 

They remain in silence for a few minutes until Vilde speaks up: "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure" Isak shrugs. 

"I still have feelings for Eva" 

Isak looks at her for a minute and then goes:"Okay" 

"Okay? Aren't you mad?" 

"Why would I be mad at you for that?" He frowns. 

"Because you like Amira. And I should be happy with her" 

"Only you can feel what you feel Vilde. I can't tell you not to be in love with Eva or force you to stay with somebody you don't want to." 

"Only I can feel what I feel" Vilde repeats 

"You know what I think? I think that you should tell Eva how you feel after you have broken up with your girlfriend. Because for all I know, she seems to like you too. Actually everybody knows that. She is pretty obvious, it's awkward really. Anyway, you have an advantage that I didn't have. Jonas is straight. Eva is not." 

"But if Jonas wasn't straight, if he came out later like Eva did, would you have left Even?" Vilde asks after staring at him for a few minutes. 

"Honestly? No. But that is because I got over Jonas long before Even. And I fell in love with Even and I don't care about any other guy know. And I can't see Jonas as anything but a brother now. But your thing with Eva is different. I think you should talk to her and things will sort themselves out. I'm sure about that."

Before Vilde gets the chance to answer, Even comes into the room holding a tray with scrambled eggs, pancakes, tea and coffee. 

While she is eating, Vilde stares into the distance and thinks about what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated daily until now but I think it will take me a little longer to post the last chapter. But I hope you will wait and still enjoy it. If you are wondering what Amira looks like, I see her like the girl in Hayley Kiyoko's "Feelings" video.


	6. Multi pov + Isak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3k+ words woah. So this got too long because I wanted to give some closure to all the shipping drama I have created. You will have to scroll a little if you want to go straight to the +1 part. The ending is worth it, I promise.

**Location: the skate park**

_*Playing Highasakite -Lover, where do you live*_

_Come on Eva you can do this. It's fine. Take a deep breath. You talked about this. You knew it could be a possibility. He will appreciate that you have told him this time, it will be fine. Yeah, you keep telling yourself this, but then why do I feel even worse than when I actually cheated on him then?_ Eva masssages the lump in her throat when Jonas approaches her.

_Do it Jonas. Just straight up tell her. Be honest. Like you practiced with Isak. It is going to be okay. You had that agreement for a reason._

"Halla" Jonas greets, voice hoarse.

"Hi" Eva squeals, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"I have something to tell you." They both blurt at the same time.

"You go fist" Eva says.

"Nei. You" Jonas insists. 

"How about we both say it at the same time?"

"Okay" They gaze into each othere's eyes for a few minutes, both sensing the conflicted emotions reflected in their expressions.

"I have feeling for Vilde/Noora" they say in unison again.

"Ha. I knew you had something for Vilde. The way you two always look at each other." Jonas says raising an eyebrow.

"Wh-why didn't you say anything then?"

"Because I trusted you not to cheat on me again after our talk."

"Thank you." Eva smiles but then she realises something. "Wait. You said Noora?"

"Yeah."

"Noora, Noora? My friend Noora? Blonde, blue eyes, red lipstick?"

"Yeah." Jonas snorts. "What’s so wrong about that?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Just unexpected is all...I never thought of the two of you…But now that I think about it...You’d make a great couple. With your strong opinions and quick-thinking and your similar political views and all...“

They look at each other for a while, a glimpse of nostalgia reflecting in their eyes and on their smiles. Then they hug for a while, rocking their bodies back and forth in each other’s arms.

"This may be the most 'chill' break up of all the time." Jonas comments.

"Mhm. I am glad I took Isak’s advice to tell you." Eva mumbles, voice muffled on Jonas' chest.

"What?" Jonas pulls apart. "You told Isak about this? Me too."

"Oh my god. Can you believe it? Isak Valtersen- Working on breaking us up since 2015." Eva says and they both break into laughter.

"Yeah but he had good intentions this time" Jonas points out.

"Yes. He did."  


***

**Location: Amira's apartment, her bedroom**

_*Playing Hayley Kiyoko - Let it be*_

Amira and Vilde are on the bed shirtess and lazily making out. Amira's lips are on Vilde's neck, her tongue tracing lines along her jawline and then she is kissing down her chest when the blonde stops her, pushing her away.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." Vilde brings her hands to her face, sighing softly as she looks around for her bra and shirt.

"What do you mean?" Amira asks, worry in her eyes.

"I-I have feelings for somebody else. And it is not fair to you to keep doing this."

Amira's face falls suddenly, but then she nods. "Is it Eva?"

"How did you know?" Vilde asks.

"I've always known that you had a thing for her, ever since we met at the bar. You probably don't remember this, but you were a little tipsy and told me a lot about her, and there was this huge smile on your face while you were talking. I've always known that if she tries something with you or if she reciprociates your feelings, I'm fucked". Amira laughs. "Thanks for being honest with me."

"I'm sorry. You're just...amazing. And you deserve someone to love you right."

Amira's face softens as she lights a cigarette and brings it to her lips: "Thanks. But I want to ask you something though. Have you ever really loved me? Or was I just some kind of rebound?" She asks as she blows the smoke and looks out the window at the starry night.

"Of course I did." Vilde grabs Amira's hands and looks into her eyes. "Don't ever doubt that. I thought I was over her and I did love you, but now I think she might like me too and I want to give us a chance because we have both been pining for too long. But you were my first girlfriend and my first true love and I will never forget everything you did for me."

They stare at each other for a while and then Amira goes to take a smoke of the cigarette again "I guess this is a goodbye then."

"I guess so too."

*** 

**Location: Eva's house**

_*Playing Hayley Kiyoko - What I need*"_

To say that Eva is nervous would be an understatement. She has been pacing around her room since Vilde's phone call 20 minues ago. She said she had something important to tell her and the truth is that Eva did too. _But what if it is not what she is expecting? What if Vilde wants to announce that she is moving in with Amira or something?! They have been dating for months after all. What if, what if-_

Suddenly her thoughts are interrupted by a knock on her window. 

After she helps her climb the window, they just stare at each other, something between trepidation and desire reflecting in their gazes as Vilde gets closer and closer and Eva swears she can feel her heart beating out of her chest and falling onto the floor in a bloddy mess. 

"I broke up with Amira" Vilde breaks the silence. 

"And I broke up with Jonas." 

That is all they both needed to hear and then suddenly Eva closes the distance between them and her lips are finally pressed against Vilde's and it is so sweet and so good. The kiss is a little messy with tongue and their teeth clattering against each other, and it would be embarrassing, really if it weren't for the fact that they have both wanted this for so so long. Vilde titles her head to the side as to deepen the kiss and Eva almost moans because of how good it feels and all the fireworks in her chest and the butterflies in her stomach are making her feel as if she is going to explode any minute. 

They pull apart after a while, foreheads pressed together as they are both trying to catch their breaths. 

"Why did it take us so long to do this?" Eva asks laughing. 

"Ask yourself that." Vilde answers giggling 

And Eva suddenly realises. She realises how much pain she must have caused Vilde because she had been blind and unable to admit something that was obvious to everybody except for her. 

"I am sorry. I am so so sorry Vilde. You have no idea-" but Vilde stops her with a finger pressed to her lips and the other hand cupping her face. 

"It doesn't matter now. We can talk about it later" she says as she goes to kiss Eva again.

***

**Location : Kollektivet**

_*Playing The weekend - Can't fell my face*_

"So you broke up with Eva" Noora says liking her lips and Jonas nods. They are sitting face to face, barely inches apart as they are staring into each other's eyes and one of Jonas' hands is caressing Noora's hair softly.

"And what did she say? You told her about...us?" Noora asks, nervousness pooling into her stomach. _What if her friend hated her for stealing her boyfriend away even though she has feelings for Vilde. She can't lose Eva's friendship, it means so much to her-"_

"Yeah and she was a little bit shocked at first, but she then said that she can totally see us together, because, I quote, "our strong opinions and similar political views."

Noora snorts. "Well she is not wrong though. I fell in love with your mind." Noora can feel her cheeks starting to heat up at her own words.

Jonas feels himself ready to burst from happiness as he cups Noora's face with both his hands. _She said she fell in love. Love._

"You're the one to talk? Jonas comments. "You are so smart and beautiful and-" Noora stops him as she presses her lips against his and suddenly they are kissing and kissing and panting into each other's mouths and it is perfect. Noora has never felt like this kissing William, this is a toe-curling kiss, it makes her feel as if she was in a Disney movie because Jonas is careful and gentle and makes her melt under his touch. Suddenly, the whole world around them has vanished and Jonas can only hear Noora's heavy breathing and her heart beating loudly against his chest.

They stop after a while, but without taking their eyes off each other. 

"You broke up with William for me...didn't you?"Jonas asks, eyes full of hope.

"Yes. I did."

Then they are kissing again and moving to the bed, Jonas on top of her, when the door to Noora's room opens suddenly, the noise making them pull apart.

"Noora where did you put-" Eskild asks entering the room and then stops in his tracks when he sees the two of them on the bed. "Oh. Am I interrupting something?" he asks as a smirk forms on his face.

"Eskild! Knock before coming into my room!" Noora shouts.

***

**+1**

**April, 24th, 2018**

Eva, Vile, Noora, Chris and Sana are all sitting on a bench in the park and eating ice cream. And it should be perfect, really. Sana thinks. They should all be happy. Except that it isn’t and they aren’t. She and Yousef made up after her phone call. Decided to give themselves a chance, no matter the outcome. Eva and Vilde finally got together after moping around for months. Noora and Jonas are a thing now, and Sana must admit that she wasn’t expecting that, but they seem happy. School and exams were almost done. 

But she couldn’t be happy when everybody around them was partying now that russ time has started. She couldn’t be cheerful about not being in a bus after the whole mess with the Pepsi Max girls in the second year. And she knows how important it was for Vilde too, and how planning this was what brought them together in the first place, the reason why she now has these amazing friends for life. 

When they crashed their 'los losers' van into a tree in march, she knew that there was no way they would find something else in such a short time. Back then she only thanked Allah that none of them were hurt and hoped that maybe they could figure something out but they didn’t. Maybe if they asked nicely they could join the pepsi max girls. Maybe… A loud sound of honking breaks her thoughts. 

_*Playing Håper du har plass- Cezinando*_

And that is…It can’t be. They all stand up and Sana can only look between the girls and the scene unfolding in front of her. Isak, Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi are all hanging out the windows of a bus (which is huge by the way and looks kind of familiar to Sana) and whistling. 

“Princesses Sana and Eva” Isak shouts. 

“Noora” Jonas adds winking. 

“Vilde” Magnus continues smiling widely. 

“And Chris” Mahdi finishes. 

“What happens after you save me? I save you all right back!” Isak shouts again. 

“That is not a direct quote from the movie.” Sana hears Even commenting. He must be the one driving. 

“Shut up Even!” The other 3 boys exclaim in unison. 

The girls look at each other and start screaming and Sana can only laugh loudly as they all run to where the bus was parked. 

Even is throwing a bunch of overalls out the window and the girls are fighting on who to hug and kiss Isak first. 

“I can’t believe this. How did you do it?” Sana asks after they have all calmed out a little and weren’t screaming anymore. 

“I have my ways.” Isak winks but then explains. “Actually, this was the bus your brother and his friends had. I knew you needed one, and after everything you all have done for me, I thought it was the least I could do. I talked to Even and he talked to Mikael and all the boys managed to take this beauty back from those they had sold it too. Apparently the kids who took it said that they didn’t need it anymore and it only needed a few repairings. So yeah.” 

“I knew it looked familiar.” Sana smiles. “But Elias, Yousef, they didn’t tell me anything." 

"That’s because I told them not to say a word. I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

“Isak! You are amazing!” Eva and Vilde who witnessed the conversatiom say and then they all hug each other. 

“Let’s get this pary started!” Magnus shouts. 

*** 

_*Playing The black eyed peas- i gotta feeling*_

_Cut to all of them in red overalls._

_Cut to Eva and Vilde and Jonas and Noora kissing side by side._

_Cut to Magnus and Mahdi laughing as they are trying to open a bottle of champagne and pour it into glasses._

_Cut to Chris and Sana blasting music and bringing cans of beer._

***

Isak’s life is not perfect. No, it’s far from so. He still has a black eye and is still bruised from the incident. He still has anxiety and sometimes gets panic attacks. He is still stressed about school and the future. He still has fights with his dad or in the worst case scenario, with his boyfriend. He still worries about his mom and Even. He still gets into fights which result into him getting hurt because of his stupidity and anger issues. He still feels resentment towards his parents for his troubled childhood. He still makes mistakes and puts his foot in his mouth sometimes, having to pay the consequences of his actions or words after that. 

But right now, surrounded by his friends-who became more of a family than his blood relatives- and his gorgeous boyfriend, he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Even comes from behind and wraps his arms around his torso. 

“I’m so proud of you baby.” He whispers in his ear while placing a feather-light kiss on his temple. 

“For what?” 

“For making this possible -he gestures at their friends who are partying and drinking- but also like in general…you’ve come so far.” And Isak knows what he means. He understands because 2 years ago he lived in a stranger’s basement. Two years ago he was closed off and ashamed of who he was. And now he is living with his boyfriend, has a job, is graduating and going to uni soon. It’s a little overwhelming if he thinks about it. 

“There are so many people here who love you Issy.” Even continues after a few minutes of silence. 

“I know. I know that now” and he couldn’t be more grateful for that. 

“But you know what?” Even moves so that they can gaze into each other’s eyes. _Blue and green. Green and blue._

“What?” 

“I.Love.You.The.Most.” Even says and punctuates every word with a quick little peck on his lips. 

Isak giggles and rolls his eyes, his cheeks turning a shade of pink at the amount of affection. Even after all this time he still gets very flustered when they are being intimate and he knows that Even, the bastard, loves this. 

“I know that too. Nobody loves me like you” Isak whispers with a dopey smile and half-lidded eyes as he goes to deepen the kiss, feeling everything. God he never gets tired of this. He puts a hand in Even’s hair and the other one on his neck and- 

“Guyys” Noora who is holding Jonas’ hand says, making them pull apart to look at her. Isak wants to laugh because this is the second time Noora has interrupted them. _What a cockblocker._ Isak thinks. 

“You’re very hot and all but Isak, we need your boyfriend to drive as he is the only one sober here so-” she explains as she throws the keys at Even who catches them and nods, getting ready to leave but not before winking-or well trying to wink-at Isak. 

And you know what? Isak can’t even bring himself to be bothered by it. He goes and follows his friends to the bus with a big smile on his face and his heart full of love.

*** 

"Do you still think that russebuss is bullshit and a capitalistic trap?" Isak asks later when it's night and they are sitting side by side on a blanket, on the grass and admiring the stars that are shining brightly in the dark sky. 

Jonas looks at him and then glances at Noora who is sitting closely and smiles back when she catches his gaze, her blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight. 

"Yes. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. i know I said I would wait a little until I post the last chapter but I just really wanted to share it with you. I got way too invested in this story and wanted to be done with it. I hope you enjoyed the ending. I need a break after writing for like a week straight but I will probably come back soon.  
> *pokes you with a stick* Did you get the reference to cuteandtwisted's fic?  
> Also, I am not norwegian and have no idea how russebuss actually works, so excuse me for that.  
> You can find me on tumblr at shinystar66


End file.
